Infected

One careless click of a button and I became the millionth victim of the rogue uber-evil Spyware Protect 2009 .

A malevolent blue shield lodged itself on my toolbar and an annoying dialogue box started popping up every sixty seconds - the computerized equivalent of a drippy nose.  My McAffee protector alerted me of immediate danger and the need to renew my annual subscription for effective relief.  $34.95 later, McAffee and I were scanning my hard drive, hoping to root our the intruder.  Nothing doing.

I downloaded the McAfffee chat room option and got hooked up with "Feagle" in tech support.    "Feagle" sounded so much like the Dickensonian "Fagin". I should have disconneted right then and there.  Instead, I spent twenty minutes of worthless typing with what I suspect was an automated program that was urging me to spend an extra $89.95 on "custome virus removal".  Right. 

"Feagle" didn't even have a sense of humor.

Me: Are you a real person Feagle?

Feagle: I am trying to help you with your reported problem.

Me: Why isn't your software working in the first place?  The program said it removed  spyware but the evil blue shield is still here.

Feagle: Spyware downloads files onto your computer that will slow down your performance.

Me:  I know that Feagle, that's why I called you.  Now, what are you going to do about this buddy?

Feagle: McAffee custom virus removal can assist you by blah-blah-blah

Me: Are you listening to me Feagle?

Feagle: I do not understand your question

End of chat room session.

A google search revealed 1,275,000 hits on the subject of "Spyware Removal 2009".  At least I wasn't alone in my misery.  Feeling like a traveler about to cross the river Styx, I backed up my most precious files and downloaded an ominous-sounding "NVT malware removal tool".  The malware remover identified some files but remove them it did not.

More googling.  More anguished downloads.  The evil blue shield wouldn't budge.  

Who wants to waste three perfectly good Sunday morning hours chasing spyware down the cicuitry?  I had it with downloads, scare tactics and costly remedies.  It was time to take matters into my own hands.  Armed with the ancient, ancient art of basic command language from the DOS manual I had studied back in 1986, I made my way to the WINDOWS root directory and begged my braincell to conjured up the old knowledge.  When the evil program finally popped into sight, I typed:

del sysguard.exe

- "Do you want to delete?"  WINDOWS asked.

- "Blast the sucker," I said and typed a sober "y".

Just like that, I was freed.

Comments

[Loulou]

Congratulations, I am proud of you and of your brain, 1986 it isn't it the begenning of humanity, just after the dinosaurus ?

Kisses

Loulou